The Week I Told You I Loved You
by Epona's Chosen
Summary: Damon's in love with Bonnie. He knows that, but that isn't the problem. The problem is that Bonnie doesn't know. Every time he tries to talk to her about it, he loses his nerve. So, he tries a different method... or seven. For hopelessdream2005's contest


**Well, finally it's here :) My contest entry - it has taken me a while... Been in more of a Harry Potter mood :) Ideas kept springing up and I had to keep writing them down :) Although I've written none of them either... I also have a bunny springing around in my head for a Hunger Games ficlet.**

**A huggeeee thanks to my beautiful and amazing Beta, TheLightIsMine :D I'm sorry you don't like the space after my '...' in the summary ;)**

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Damon Salvatore was in love with Bonnie McCullough. He was well aware of it, well aware of every curl of her vibrant hair, every freckle that adorned her beautiful face and every movement that her petite figure made. He was completely captivated by her. She was his perfect little bird. Well, not _his,_ as such – yet.

Every time he was near her, he yearned to reach out and hold her in his arms. He couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to. Even when he was alone with her, he couldn't make the words come out of his mouth.

I love you.

He could say it when she wasn't there. He could scream it out in the depths of the dark forest to nothing and no one but the eerie silence, but faced with the delectable angel herself, he couldn't say it at all. He had to tell her though. He knew Matt was trying to get closer to her, and if that _Mutt_ took his Bonnie away from him, he'd kill him.

Day 1,

Damon sat in a tree in front of Bonnie's bedroom window. He happened to know that she always looked out of her window every single morning without fail. He knew this before he'd watched her, trying to draw up the courage to tell her how he felt. He never had.

He watched as a fellow crow flew overhead, carrying a twig in its mouth. An idea struck him. He didn't have to say it directly to her face. He could tell her some other way. He glided gracefully down to the frosty ground, and then started to look for twigs.

It took him until daybreak to lay all the twigs out to form the words 'I love you,' on the ground and Damon let out a caw in triumph at his finished work. He knew Bonnie wouldn't wake for a few hours, so he decided to go and find someone to snack on, thoughts of Bonnie making him hungry.

After feeding on a blonde, he'd slowly made his way to Bonnie's house. He'd almost picked a redhead, but the colour had been too close to that of his red bird's and he'd nearly thrown up at the thought of hurting Bonnie – even if it wasn't really her.

He reached Bonnie's house minutes before she'd wake up and see the wooden message on the ground. He was vaguely aware that the wind had picked up, but he didn't pay any attention to it until he realised that his carefully made message was now strewn across the grass in clumps. He suddenly felt heartbroken. It had failed. He'd spent so long arranging it and now nature had gone and ruined it. He wanted to lash out, to hurt anything in sight, feeling a surge of angry power within him that he clamped down on in a bid to control himself.

He melted into the shadows and Bonnie's familiar face appeared at the window. She didn't notice the tangle of twigs on the ground and he felt swathed in sadness. She could have known by now...

Day 2,

Damon was in the kitchen. Bonnie was curled up in the living room in front of the fire after a snowball fight, which had issued after last night's heavy snowfall. Poor Bonnie had an aim far too weak for hers to actually hit anyone, although she'd been hit a lot herself. Of course, once she'd remembered her witch powers only Damon had been able to avoid her throws.

He was making her a hot chocolate to warm her up. He didn't want her to remain shivering like she was. Everyone else was upstairs, either showering or sleeping and Damon decided this would be an opportune time to tell Bonnie how he felt, and the answer was in his hand.

He grinned and began to sprinkle the chocolate powder on top of the whipped cream to write the words 'I love you' with utmost care. He was proud of his work once he'd finished. He arranged mini marshmallows all around it before picking it up along with his own drink – a glass of whiskey – and headed out the kitchen towards the living room where Bonnie currently resided.

Crash.

Matt ran into Damon, and the hot chocolate slopped over the side of the mug and ruined his perfectly written letters. A vicious snarl left his lips and he turned on Matt, who didn't look all too apologetic.

"Sorry," he muttered and continued on his way. Damon growled quietly even after Matt had gone. It had been ruined for the second time; he couldn't even go and redo it as Matt had walked into the kitchen. He sighed; he'd have to try again another time. He couldn't say it to her face.

He took the mug of chocolate to Bonnie. "Sorry it's spilt, Mutt crashed into me," he said and sat down with his whiskey in an armchair.

"It's Matt," Bonnie said, but smiled. "And it's fine."

Damon grumbled under his breath and sipped his whiskey, watching the flames. How could he tell her now?

Day 3,

Damon lay in his bed as the sun rose over the trees. It was very early, near dawn, and all the other residents of the Boarding House were sleeping peacefully in their beds. Bonnie had gone home, _Mutt_ had taken her. He had missed another chance because he'd been out snacking on a brunette this time. He could have had her alone, in a dark car...the images that entered Damon's head went far beyond a tender kiss and he felt a wave of passion swamp him, coupled with a desperate need for her.

He picked up his phone, spinning it around in his hand before absently flicking through his contacts till it rested on Bonnie's name. He groaned in annoyance and threw it down on the bed. He had almost rung her. Without thinking. His infatuation was getting stronger by the day.

He picked up his phone again and bit his lip. He could tell her by text, couldn't he? He decided to do it. After all, this couldn't fail.

_Hey Bonnie, I did not know how to say it to your face, but I have to let you know somehow. I love you. I really do. I know there is little chance you feel the same way, but I had to tell you before it ate me up inside and I could not even look at you for fear of your rebuke. I love you. Damon_.

He hesitated, his finger lingering over the send button, before he screwed his courage together and pressed it. It sent. He couldn't change anything now. His eyes flickered up to the time. 7:24AM. It was improbable that she'd reply at this time in the morning, so he flopped back in bed and stared at his phone.

Four hours passed and still no reply popped up on his screen. He frowned. Bonnie was meant to be here soon and he had no reply to the message. Surely she would have checked her phone by now. He heard Stefan's car pull up outside. It was the only one that could get out in this awful winter weather.

He heard Bonnie's sweet voice as she climbed out of the car and was greeted by Meredith who Damon figured was at the door. He decided to get up and dress; maybe Bonnie was waiting to reply in person? He was then overcome with nervousness. He could imagine her beautiful, little face full of regret and so apologetic as she said she'd never feel the same. It almost shattered his heart. He clung to a tiny spark of hope that maybe she did love him too, but it was stamped out cruelly by the voice that was saying she hated him ringing in his ears.

He swallowed his beating heart and finally headed downstairs, finding the gang in the living room from the voices floating up to him. He stalked in, hanging around the back of the room. Bonnie was hunting through the sofa, pulling the cushions out.

"Do you remember when you last had it?" Meredith asked, helping her look by feeling under the grandfather clock. Damon suppressed a smile as she grimaced; her arm emerged covered in dust.

"Yesterday, before the snowball fight," Bonnie said, rummaging underneath the middle seat. "Mum will _kill_ me if I've lost it!" She wailed.

"Lost what?" Damon inquired curiously.

"My _phone_," she said and threw the cushions haphazardly back onto the sofa and sitting down with an exasperated huff, throwing her arms up in despair. "It's not there," she announced.

Damon's heart sank. So she hadn't even seen the message. "Oh," he said and wandered out of the room, his chest oddly tight. He scowled furiously at his weakness and stalked out of the house. "Dammit," he muttered, and ran into the forest, changing into a crow as he did and flying up into the trees, feeling the freedom of flight on his wings and the wind ruffling his feathers.

Was there some unknown force trying to stop him from telling her? Damon perched high up in a tree and watched the Boarding House from a distance.

If he didn't love her as much as he did, he'd have given up by now.

Day 4,

Bonnie was hungry. Damon could hear her stomach rumbling from where he sat outside the living room window, like the growl of a caged lion planning an escape. He could also tell she wanted to go and get something to eat by the impatience in her voice, but it appeared that the others were having a discussion, Bonnie included, and she didn't want to disrupt it. He hadn't been invited. He passed the time by counting the number of letters their names had in common with the words 'I love you'. He was pleased to find that the answer was more than half. Somehow that made it feel more like destiny than ever.

Half an hour later, the meeting was over and Stefan and Elena had disappeared upstairs, now involved in something that made the bed shake and creak loudly in his vampire ears. Matt and Meredith were conversing quietly in a corner and Bonnie was almost asleep in the window seat. She was still hungry, but she was too comfortable to move, obviously.

Damon decided he'd do the nice thing and go and make her something to eat, as it was obvious nobody else had noticed. He was so in tune to her moods and feelings now that he noticed every little change. He went silently back into the house and into the kitchen. There, he put some bread in the toaster and got a knife from the drawer and the butter from the fridge.

The toast popped up and Damon lifted it carefully out, putting it on a plate. He had another burst of inspiration. He began to spread the butter to form the words 'I love you'. It had failed before with the twigs, the hot chocolate and the text, but he was determined to try again. He _had_ to tell her. He picked the plate up, no longer bothered by Mutt and Meredith knowing how he felt about Bonnie, as long as _she_ knew. He walked through into the living room and over to Bonnie, placing the plate gently on her lap. She jumped, waking from her doze, and looked at the plate. She smiled, causing Damon's unbeating heart to leap with joy.

"Thank you, Damon, how did you know I was hungry?" She asked.

He hadn't quite been expecting her to say that after a revelation of his deepest feelings. He looked at the toast to check he hadn't dreamt spreading the message in butter and to his horror realised that the butter had melted, destroying the words. He hurried to answer the question. "I could hear your stomach, red," he said with a somewhat forced grin.

She blushed. "Oh...thanks anyway," she said and picked a piece up, nibbling delicately on it. He nodded and stood up, leaving her to eat in peace. When he got out of the room he almost hit himself. How could he forget that butter _melted?_

Day 5,

Damon was irritated, and that put him in a bad mood. Everything was failing. He just couldn't find a successful way to tell her he was in love with her. Oddly, the thought of saying to her face had slipped completely from his mind.

He'd write her a letter. He'd confess his love to her in that and then send it to her. He'd never written a love letter before, but he had the hub and gist of it all. He picked up his favourite fountain pen, and pressed it to his lips for a moment, pondering his words. Finally, he wrote,

_Dear Bonnie,_

_I wish I could tell you face to face, but I can never find the courage. _

_I love you._

_You are stunningly beautiful and your smile makes my heart flip in my chest. I have never felt this way before. I have never fallen in love as much as I have with you. Your doe brown eyes have never failed to see through my cover to the vulnerable heart I keep buried inside. I felt it crack, that hard casing that kept me safe from feeling. You did it. You broke through. _

_I know you will not feel the same way about me. I know I do not deserve you. But you had to know. It was killing me, not letting you know._

_I am sorry for any pain I have caused you. I am asking for your forgiveness for everything. If you forgive me, I know I will be okay, even if you cannot love me._

_Please, do not be upset about not returning the feelings. I understand you could never love a monster like me, but I had to tell you somehow. I needed to let you know, to get it off my dead, lifeless chest._

_All my love,_

_Damon._

He frowned. It wasn't Shakespeare, but he didn't want to try and force her to love him. It would be her decision. He sealed the envelope and wrote her address on it before taking it to the post office. She would know in the morning, and then he'd feel heartbroken all over again because he knew she'd end up choosing the safety and security that was Matthew Honeycutt over the dark and dangerous world that he belonged to.

The letter was gone. He couldn't take it back now. He walked back to the Boarding House slowly, thinking over what he'd written.

The next day came quickly. Damon rose early and stared at the once again falling snow that drifted down from the heavy sky. He could hear the cracking static of the radio downstairs and sense his brother messing with it. Through the crackling came words that sent Damon's already broken heart crashing to the floor.

"The heavy snowfall has stopped all the post in this area of Virginia after…" the radio started to crackle again before falling silent.

The post wouldn't have arrived. Bonnie wouldn't have got her letter and Damon was in despair about what to do now once again.

"Why?" He growled and kicked his wall to relieve his feelings. He threw himself back down on his bed. Nothing was working.

Day 6,

Damon had been very busy and he'd come up with a plan that couldn't fail. It was also much more likely to win Bonnie's heart.

He'd muttered something about feeding before leaving the Boarding House and travelling to Bonnie's house, while the others played games and watched TV.

He crept in through her window with the bag and surveyed her room. Everything was neat and tidy and her parents had gone out. Perfect.

He opened the bag and took out a tub of red rose petals. He opened it and made his way nervously to the bed. He began to arrange them on her duvet to form the words 'I love you' on the bed. He bit his lip, hoping her parents wouldn't find it first.

After all the arranging, he took the crow feather from his crow form and placed it like a signature on the corner of the bed. He stepped back and surveyed his work with mild appraisal. This couldn't fail. It just couldn't. Bonnie would come home tonight and find it – then she'd know and his task would be over.

He travelled back to the Boarding House, his heart almost bursting with the happiness that Bonnie would soon know his feelings. He covered it as he walked in – he didn't want his brother to sense it and ask awkward questions.

"Yes, mum, I'm staying with Meredith tonight – at Mrs. Flowers'." That was Bonnie's voice on the phone.

Wait. She was _staying_? No. She couldn't. She had to go home so she could know. Damon felt the happiness being sucked out of him as he heard her mum tell her it was fine. He stormed up to his room, slamming the door so hard the windows rattled.

"Was that Damon?" He heard Bonnie ask after she'd hung up.

"Maybe his snack wasn't so willing," Matt said and Damon could sense him smirking.

Day 7,

Bonnie yawned. "I'm going to go home," she said, stretching. Damon's heart leapt; she'd see the rose petals tonight then.

Matt opened his mouth to offer to take her home. "I'll take you," Damon put in quickly, but he kept his casual tone, not wanting to betray his eagerness.

"Thanks, Damon," Bonnie said without hesitation, standing up. Matt shot him a glare, which Damon pointedly ignored, and escorted Bonnie out of the room.

He opened doors for her, at which Bonnie gave him pleasantly surprised looks. He let her slide into the sleek car before closing her door for her, and took a deep breath before climbing in his side. This could be it. This could be the night she learned what lay deep in his heart.

The drive was silent, he'd sensed Bonnie's fingers itching to turn the radio on to fill the silence and he did it for her. The channel was purely music and playing a rather light and soft song. Damon was glad – an upbeat dance track or heavy rock could have made the journey twice as awkward. He was nervous. He always was around her, though he never admitted it, always looking for potential danger to protect her. She'd never get hurt around him if he could help it.

They arrived at the house. It was dark, no warm and friendly lights on in the windows that he was used to from earlier visits. "My parents are visiting Mary," Bonnie said, and Damon nodded.

"I'll walk you to the door," he said, climbing out the car and opening her door for her.

"Thank you, Damon," she said, and Damon felt his heart flip at the use of his name. Especially now they were alone.

He walked her to the door; she opened it and went inside – it was all very ordinary. If it had been a movie, he'd have told her right then. But he couldn't, his voice had gone and he realised he was terrified – terrified of her rejection. His fear stuck like a lump in his throat, cutting off anything he might have wanted to say.

"Goodnight," Bonnie said softly, her breath misting between them. Damon gave her a smile, swallowing hard to loosen his throat. They were very close. Close enough for him to have leaned in and kissed her, if he'd had the courage.

"Goodnight, red," he told her, and she sent him her beautiful smile and closed the door. The air was still in her absence, and something inside him was deeply disappointed in himself.

His voice came back then, as did his courage. Too late, of course. Why did he always have to fail at this? He pressed his forehead to the door in frustration. He should have said it. "I love you," he said to the door. He almost laughed at how pathetic it was. He was so caught up in berating himself that he didn't hear the small gasp on the other side of the door, and he nearly fell over in surprise as the door reopened quickly.

He had the sense to catch the small girl as she flung herself into his arms, and he wasn't sure if it was even reality when her lips pressed against his. He didn't care. He'd take this chance even if he was just dreaming again. He kissed her with love and affection, pouring all he felt into it and left Bonnie gasping for breath as she pulled back, her eyes shining.

"I love you, too," she managed to whisper, and Damon stared. He was definitely dreaming. Or hallucinating. Or both. He didn't care.

"Oh, God, Bonnie," he murmured and held her tightly, his face pressed to her hair. It was so clear, vivid – the most vibrant dream he'd ever had.

"Damon," she breathed, clinging to his figure. "Please tell me this is real."

Damon met her eyes. "I'm not entirely sure. I think I might be dreaming," he said, his hands caressing her cheek, seeking out her soft skin.

Bonnie pinched him.

"Ow," he yelped. "What was that for?"

"If you'd been dreaming, you'd have woken up by now," Bonnie said, happily.

"You mean to say you really love me?" Damon replied, his eyes wide in awe, barely brave enough to say the words in case she hadn't meant it and he looked like a fool to her.

"I've always loved you, Damon," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Always?" Damon echoed, faintly surprised. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You'd have laughed," she mumbled and Damon shook his head rapidly. He couldn't believe it. She loved him. She loved him. Warmth spread through him from his chest to his toes, and he felt elated for the first time this week. All the words he had wanted to say came pouring out now that he had no reason to hide.

"I love you, so much, I have for ages. You're so sweet and beautiful – you deserve so much better than me," Damon said, sadness in his voice. "I wish I'd been the type of person you deserved."

Bonnie shook her head. "No. You're the only one I want."

Damon smiled and kissed her. "Well, I'm not going to argue," he murmured against her lips.

Bonnie giggled softly and kissed him back.

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**Hmm... I know what you can do now :D You can press that review button and leave me a few (or many) words of opinion? Please? Hope you liked it!**

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